I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
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And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i drank out of a bidet.