If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.