u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Send us your Text From Last Night!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.