Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child