All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.