I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech