When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
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It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
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Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
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did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.