Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea