I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.