#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
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um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We left an ass print on the piano.
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we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
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Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?