i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight