I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.