Texts From Last Night

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(281): View more from Texas

I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?

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(281): I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow? http://tfl.nu/ft8k

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(612): View more from Minnesota

im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.

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(612): im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season. http://tfl.nu/2d9g

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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(403): Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack. http://tfl.nu/lh8d

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!

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(870): Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!! http://tfl.nu/9cgb

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(443): View more from Maryland

There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.

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(443): There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers. http://tfl.nu/zfa6

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(949): View more from California

i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way

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(949): i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way http://tfl.nu/yxz9

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(316): View more from Kansas

sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.

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(316): sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe. http://tfl.nu/nxxv

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just cut my nipple shaving

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(902): I just cut my nipple shaving http://tfl.nu/31st

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(703): View more from Virginia

Grow some girl-balls and come out already

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(703): Grow some girl-balls and come out already http://tfl.nu/dlf5

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(410): View more from Maryland

Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.

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(410): Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight. http://tfl.nu/1lc5

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(619): View more from California

I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

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(619): I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe. http://tfl.nu/jto0

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(810): View more from Michigan

My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

either way. win, win.

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(810): My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches. (1-810): either way. win, win. http://tfl.nu/dnjj

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(336): View more from North Carolina

walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.

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(336): walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life. http://tfl.nu/o34i

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(443): View more from Maryland

My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT

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(443): My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT http://tfl.nu/f0p2

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(616): View more from Michigan

I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!

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(616): I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off! http://tfl.nu/woe1

Replies (50) Good night (3236) Bad night (586)

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