Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
