Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party