I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.