we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye