he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?