Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Send us your Text From Last Night!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful