She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me