This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign