Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.