Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN

  • TFLN Blog
  • Log In / Sign Up

Texts From Last Night

  • Nights:
  • Best
  • Worst
  • Random
  • About
  • Store
  • Today
  • Week
  • Month
  • All Time
  • Today
  • Week
  • Month
  • All Time
  • Favorite

    (732): View more from New Jersey

    You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (23) Good night (3082) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (616): View more from Michigan

    Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (21) Good night (576) Bad night (2516) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (814): View more from Pennsylvania

    listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (20) Good night (4358) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (904): View more from Florida

    the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (42) Good night (8544) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (248): View more from Michigan

    just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (17) Good night (4852) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (323): View more from California

    If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (19) Good night (2670) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (210): View more from Texas

    It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (23) Good night (2460) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (503): View more from Oregon

    You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (14) Good night (2525) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (303): View more from Colorado

    If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (24) Good night (595) Bad night (4301) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (304): View more from West Virginia

    My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (27) Good night (3605) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (845): View more from New York

    don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (15) Good night (3493) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (260): View more from Indiana

    Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (47) Good night (3976) Bad night (1505) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (353): View more from

    i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (22) Good night (5535) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (248): View more from Michigan

    ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (10) Good night (2973) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (609): View more from New Jersey

    I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

    (215): View more from Pennsylvania

    Being persistent has its perks my friend.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (11) Good night (3547) Bad night (409)
Go
  • Submit
  • Favorites
  • Text Us
  • Most Active Areacodes
  • Flickr
  • Twitter
  • (303): Colorado
  • (248): Michigan
  • (203): Connecticut
  • (703): Virginia
  • (310): California
  • (412): Pennsylvania
  • (630): Illinois
  • (847): Illinois
  • (610): Pennsylvania
  • (512): Texas
  • (617): Massachusetts
  • (330): Ohio
A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr
  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

Follow @tfln

View texts from the Archive
  • February, 2009
  • March, 2009
  • April, 2009
  • May, 2009
  • June, 2009
  • July, 2009
  • August, 2009
  • September, 2009
  • October, 2009
  • November, 2009
  • December, 2009
  • January, 2010
  • February, 2010
  • March, 2010
  • April, 2010
  • May, 2010
  • June, 2010
  • July, 2010
  • August, 2010
  • September, 2010
  • October, 2010
  • November, 2010
  • December, 2010
  • January, 2011
  • February, 2011
  • March, 2011
  • April, 2011
  • May, 2011
  • June, 2011
  • July, 2011
  • August, 2011
  • September, 2011
  • October, 2011
  • November, 2011
  • December, 2011
  • January, 2012
  • February, 2012
  • March, 2012
  • April, 2012
  • May, 2012
  • June, 2012
  • July, 2012
  • August, 2012
  • September, 2012
  • October, 2012
  • November, 2012
  • December, 2012
  • January, 2013
  • February, 2013
  • March, 2013
  • April, 2013
  • May, 2013

Find Us On:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Stumbleupon
  • Digg
  • Reddit
  • 3101
  • 3102
  • 3103
  • 3104
  • 3105
  • … 3323
  • Next Page
Go
Site design by: MetaLab
  • Home
  • Best Nights
  • Worst Nights
  • Random
  • About
  • Store
  • Areacodes
  • Contact
  • Terms

© 2009-2012 Texts From Last Night Inc.