Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
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from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk