My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.