Texts From Last Night

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(+49): View more from Germany

i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.

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(+49): i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve. http://tfl.nu/21ct

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(319): View more from Iowa

Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts

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(319): Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts http://tfl.nu/snvl

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(678): View more from Georgia

Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you

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(678): Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you http://tfl.nu/rkl4

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(808): View more from Hawaii

how do you spell 'special'? like slow?

(210): View more from Texas

S P E L L C H E C K

(808): View more from Hawaii

No you dumbass thats not right

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(808): how do you spell 'special'? like slow? (210): S P E L L C H E C K (808): No you dumbass thats not right http://tfl.nu/z6b5

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(301): View more from Maryland

Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night

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(301): Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night http://tfl.nu/y3ii

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(504): View more from Louisiana

i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there

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(504): i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there http://tfl.nu/461i

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(352): View more from Florida

New low: just hacked my moms facebook

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(352): New low: just hacked my moms facebook http://tfl.nu/hg9x

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(650): View more from California

im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt

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(650): im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt http://tfl.nu/myrk

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin

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(330): Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin http://tfl.nu/9p6z

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.

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(401): My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study. http://tfl.nu/037f

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(804): View more from Virginia

my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.

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(804): my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it. http://tfl.nu/l9cy

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(407): View more from Florida

so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all

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(407): so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all http://tfl.nu/8geg

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(+02): View more from

Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies

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(+02): Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies http://tfl.nu/80zn

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(301): View more from Maryland

Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.

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(301): Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them. http://tfl.nu/uwdn

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(239): View more from Florida

and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.

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(239): and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer. http://tfl.nu/xmgi

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