I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought