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i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
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