I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Houston, we have a blender
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.