after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.