You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.