I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed