Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
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She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
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Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.