You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am