Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
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What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.