I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.