she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean