composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.