She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.