How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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