I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.