I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all