Texts From Last Night

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(662): View more from Mississippi

When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.

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(662): When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis. http://tfl.nu/y0g4

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(818): View more from California

I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.

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(818): I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/hyhy

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Who did Billy Mays play for?

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(732): Who did Billy Mays play for? http://tfl.nu/wvwr

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(937): View more from Ohio

I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.

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(937): I did that thing where I cum for no reason again. http://tfl.nu/vzrl

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(623): View more from Arizona

Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?

(1-623): View more from Arizona

Um.. is it mean if I say yes?

(623): View more from Arizona

How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"

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(623): Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years? (1-623): Um.. is it mean if I say yes? (623): How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?" http://tfl.nu/602v

Replies (35) Good night (607) Bad night (2325)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.

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(919): Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee. http://tfl.nu/oz8w

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(207): View more from Maine

I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers

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(207): I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers http://tfl.nu/79gv

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better

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(570): I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better http://tfl.nu/a0xl

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(586): View more from Michigan

Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?

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(586): Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white? http://tfl.nu/dlzj

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.

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(505): He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis. http://tfl.nu/qfyr

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?

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(630): I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward? http://tfl.nu/ncf8

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(301): View more from Maryland

Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.

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(301): Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel. http://tfl.nu/b636

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty

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(609): i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty http://tfl.nu/sjep

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(512): View more from Texas

The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

(319): View more from Iowa

Yes. For all mankind please do.

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(512): The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? (319): Yes. For all mankind please do. http://tfl.nu/4jly

Replies (49) Good night (4672) Bad night (624)
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(951): View more from California

Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

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(951): Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already. http://tfl.nu/bhvw

Replies (64) Good night (4840) Bad night (804)

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