Texts From Last Night

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(512): View more from Texas

Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.

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(512): Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on. http://tfl.nu/m8nk

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.

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(203): He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later. http://tfl.nu/9zcr

Replies (33) Good night (11154) Bad night (812)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I am full of burrito and curiosity

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(602): I am full of burrito and curiosity http://tfl.nu/k856

Replies (24) Good night (5375) Bad night (714)
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(631): View more from New York

It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.

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(631): It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates. http://tfl.nu/ctme

Replies (19) Good night (1338) Bad night (5182)
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(310): View more from California

Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.

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(310): Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused. http://tfl.nu/xlj4

Replies (17) Good night (1086) Bad night (5247)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.

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(859): he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day. http://tfl.nu/iow4

Replies (44) Good night (934) Bad night (8188)
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(309): View more from Illinois

i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!

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(309): i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!! http://tfl.nu/asa6

Replies (51) Good night (7044) Bad night (750)
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(317): View more from Indiana

my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card

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(317): my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card http://tfl.nu/9m1o

Replies (39) Good night (1397) Bad night (3761)
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(858): View more from California

Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.

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(858): Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show. http://tfl.nu/suqh

Replies (31) Good night (1402) Bad night (4629)
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(925): View more from California

can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet

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(925): can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet http://tfl.nu/pj67

Replies (26) Good night (4597) Bad night (1266)
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(727): View more from Florida

I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class

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(727): I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class http://tfl.nu/b4xz

Replies (49) Good night (5437) Bad night (917)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.

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(630): I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better. http://tfl.nu/ly4a

Replies (23) Good night (5487) Bad night (647)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.

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(780): we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said. http://tfl.nu/m7ps

Replies (22) Good night (1168) Bad night (2673)
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(562): View more from California

she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.

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(562): she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight. http://tfl.nu/mepj

Replies (14) Good night (1041) Bad night (3851)
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(303): View more from Colorado

i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell

(720): View more from Colorado

That's the classiest thing you've ever said.

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(303): i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell (720): That's the classiest thing you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/sstw

Replies (44) Good night (6074) Bad night (1953)

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