Texts From Last Night

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(404): View more from Georgia

Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.

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(404): Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon. http://tfl.nu/d58s

Replies (39) Good night (9379) Bad night (1432)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.

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(603): Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me. http://tfl.nu/c00l

Replies (26) Good night (6106) Bad night (1550)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

(416): View more from Toronto

Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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(519): Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit. (416): Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?! http://tfl.nu/iavy

Replies (39) Good night (10593) Bad night (1393)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.

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(832): when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate. http://tfl.nu/63ss

Replies (32) Good night (6916) Bad night (1173)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

What happened?....

(304): View more from West Virginia

He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....

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(304): What happened?.... (304): He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm.... http://tfl.nu/j714

Replies (10) Good night (1778) Bad night (5329)
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(516): View more from New York

sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.

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(516): sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it. http://tfl.nu/pgco

Replies (13) Good night (7022) Bad night (1537)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.

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(262): Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award. http://tfl.nu/7kwq

Replies (6) Good night (3746) Bad night (953)
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(571): View more from Virginia

found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.

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(571): found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/h3cm

Replies (21) Good night (5770) Bad night (955)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.

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(708): I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you. http://tfl.nu/rvgi

Replies (15) Good night (1863) Bad night (4635)
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(214): View more from Texas

Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.

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(214): Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better. http://tfl.nu/wgom

Replies (20) Good night (4390) Bad night (1267)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.

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(314): I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore. http://tfl.nu/n30o

Replies (18) Good night (4712) Bad night (1171)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...

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(604): I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked... http://tfl.nu/ab3l

Replies (27) Good night (6861) Bad night (1116)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis

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(978): i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis http://tfl.nu/3jq7

Replies (8) Good night (1030) Bad night (4047)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.

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(608): I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter. http://tfl.nu/xqss

Replies (13) Good night (3674) Bad night (1797)
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(904): View more from Florida

we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways

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(904): we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways http://tfl.nu/vdwk

Replies (6) Good night (4295) Bad night (1263)

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