Texts From Last Night

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(650): View more from California

I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.

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(650): I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening. http://tfl.nu/kog8

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(203): View more from Connecticut

it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore

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(203): it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore http://tfl.nu/bfwd

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(678): View more from Georgia

My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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(678): My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family? http://tfl.nu/vek9

Replies (72) Good night (1967) Bad night (8012)
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(760): View more from California

I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.

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(760): I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college. http://tfl.nu/m4jf

Replies (52) Good night (4464) Bad night (802)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

her facebook's as public as her vagina

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(803): her facebook's as public as her vagina http://tfl.nu/w3ii

Replies (43) Good night (3230) Bad night (2611)
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(765): View more from Indiana

how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.

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(765): how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/c7jp

Replies (48) Good night (818) Bad night (6208)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?

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(256): Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it? http://tfl.nu/m23f

Replies (31) Good night (5864) Bad night (666)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.

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(804): I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size. http://tfl.nu/11z8

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(256): View more from Alabama

We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.

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(256): We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/312f

Replies (43) Good night (6081) Bad night (823)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread

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(401): Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread http://tfl.nu/zf7m

Replies (18) Good night (4791) Bad night (910)
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(360): View more from Washington

whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.

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(360): whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind. http://tfl.nu/pllx

Replies (24) Good night (5579) Bad night (860)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.

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(816): I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ. http://tfl.nu/y7u3

Replies (16) Good night (4195) Bad night (779)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.

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(605): We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink. http://tfl.nu/ugbw

Replies (60) Good night (14046) Bad night (997)
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(815): View more from Illinois

$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.

(212): View more from New York

Please take video.

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(815): $1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween. (212): Please take video. http://tfl.nu/t1i5

Replies (13) Good night (6542) Bad night (737)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon

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(334): I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon http://tfl.nu/p3qx

Replies (44) Good night (6230) Bad night (1091)

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