After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.