wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
They have beer where we have blood.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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