Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
