She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
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Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
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Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer