they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.