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    (937): View more from Ohio

    oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing

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    Replies (75) Good night (5374) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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    (951): View more from California

    Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?

    (949): View more from California

    Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.

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    Replies (29) Good night (976) Bad night (3770)
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    (541): View more from Oregon

    Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.

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    Replies (39) Good night (531) Bad night (4855) Order T-Shirt
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    (860): View more from Connecticut

    I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.

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    Replies (32) Good night (617) Bad night (2981)
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    (310): View more from California

    I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"

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    Replies (11) Good night (610) Bad night (2260)
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    (770): View more from Georgia

    Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk

    (678): View more from Georgia

    discrete masterbation is a lost art

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    Replies (32) Good night (550) Bad night (2621)
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    (905): View more from Toronto

    Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke

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    Replies (33) Good night (2942) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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    (443): View more from Maryland

    Just cropdusted the office

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    Replies (16) Good night (2169) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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    (860): View more from Connecticut

    I'm in love with you.

    (1-860): View more from Connecticut

    huh?

    (860): View more from Connecticut

    Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.

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    Replies (14) Good night (3052) Bad night (644)
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    (228): View more from Mississippi

    Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?

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    Replies (37) Good night (4654) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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    (832): View more from Houston, Texas

    If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.

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    Replies (9) Good night (2280) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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    (801): View more from Utah

    Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.

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    Replies (129) Good night (2813) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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    (803): View more from South Carolina

    I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.

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    Replies (8) Good night (1615) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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    (925): View more from California

    Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless

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    Replies (23) Good night (3210) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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    (804): View more from Virginia

    Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great

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    Replies (26) Good night (5586) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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