Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today