still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
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Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
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i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.