She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage