There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.