Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?