You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
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Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?