We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out