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    (978): View more from Massachusetts

    I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

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    Replies (33) Good night (2323) Bad night (1379) Order T-Shirt
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    (931): View more from Tennessee

    there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.

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    Replies (27) Good night (788) Bad night (1739) Order T-Shirt
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    (406): View more from Montana

    Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.

    (1-406): View more from Montana

    Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs

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    Replies (46) Good night (733) Bad night (4394) Order T-Shirt
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    (1-415): View more from California

    What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?

    (415): View more from California

    Irish Spring?

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    Replies (20) Good night (4199) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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    (248): View more from Michigan

    the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.

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    Replies (7) Good night (2373) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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    (954): View more from Florida

    Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?

    (1-954): View more from Florida

    Hurt me personally.

    (954): View more from Florida

    Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though

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    Replies (18) Good night (1869) Bad night (377)
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    (586): View more from Michigan

    i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

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    Replies (33) Good night (2936) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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    (704): View more from North Carolina

    We named our party play list daddy issues

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    Replies (4) Good night (2551) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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    (585): View more from New York

    he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him

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    Replies (22) Good night (436) Bad night (2754) Order T-Shirt
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    (510): View more from California

    The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.

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    Replies (13) Good night (1150) Bad night (2385) Order T-Shirt
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    (817): View more from Texas

    don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.

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    Replies (20) Good night (882) Bad night (1713) Order T-Shirt
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    (817): View more from Texas

    Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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    Replies (23) Good night (548) Bad night (4501) Order T-Shirt
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    (901): View more from Tennessee

    I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.

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    Replies (20) Good night (452) Bad night (2989) Order T-Shirt
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    (763): View more from Minnesota

    that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!

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    Replies (48) Good night (4498) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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    (325): View more from Texas

    I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder

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    Replies (172) Good night (5716) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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