I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.