I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?