What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha