its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"