i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that