Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
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We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags