College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
