I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench