Texts From Last Night

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(480): View more from Arizona

I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.

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(480): I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts. http://tfl.nu/t2zp

Replies (32) Good night (963) Bad night (8097)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.

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(401): I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy. http://tfl.nu/4ar4

Replies (38) Good night (6010) Bad night (1320)
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(914): View more from New York

Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right

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(914): Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right http://tfl.nu/mx4p

Replies (18) Good night (1724) Bad night (4103)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.

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(978): Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over. http://tfl.nu/42jf

Replies (22) Good night (1419) Bad night (4432)
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(325): View more from Texas

suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea

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(325): suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea http://tfl.nu/q0e7

Replies (21) Good night (1093) Bad night (4793)
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(805): View more from California

a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot

(818): View more from California

god is laughing at you again

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(805): a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot (818): god is laughing at you again http://tfl.nu/4fg3

Replies (20) Good night (5213) Bad night (1740)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.

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(570): You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol. http://tfl.nu/n8ii

Replies (11) Good night (996) Bad night (3493)
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(707): View more from California

its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me

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(707): its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me http://tfl.nu/kg6n

Replies (11) Good night (1936) Bad night (3399)
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(310): View more from California

Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone

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(310): Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone http://tfl.nu/koze

Replies (36) Good night (2733) Bad night (5400)
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(815): View more from Illinois

come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.

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(815): come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/ur6c

Replies (20) Good night (2210) Bad night (5614)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.

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(613): I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went. http://tfl.nu/jkvp

Replies (14) Good night (5063) Bad night (1257)
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(512): View more from Texas

There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.

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(512): There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW. http://tfl.nu/izzq

Replies (22) Good night (6769) Bad night (2035)
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(562): View more from California

Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.

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(562): Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont. http://tfl.nu/ey1g

Replies (14) Good night (928) Bad night (3538)
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(707): View more from California

I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on

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(707): I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on http://tfl.nu/0k8v

Replies (26) Good night (3146) Bad night (1207)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures

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(715): Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures http://tfl.nu/hpoh

Replies (6) Good night (3115) Bad night (1567)

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