Texts From Last Night

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(817): View more from Texas

After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.

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(817): After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot. http://tfl.nu/l939

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(951): View more from California

Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.

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(951): Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out. http://tfl.nu/nz84

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(309): View more from Illinois

I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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(309): I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth http://tfl.nu/zzns

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(858): View more from California

anal on a first date. tsk tsk.

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(858): anal on a first date. tsk tsk. http://tfl.nu/9mlb

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(201): View more from New Jersey

it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships

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(201): it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships http://tfl.nu/cs10

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(757): View more from Virginia

Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.

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(757): Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing. http://tfl.nu/8x8y

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(907): View more from Alaska

I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.

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(907): I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are. http://tfl.nu/tm8o

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.

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(423): Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/w5j3

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

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(617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s

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(407): View more from Florida

you definitely have a few illegitimate kids

(1-407): View more from Florida

probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine

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(407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids (1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine http://tfl.nu/6feu

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.

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(920): good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs. http://tfl.nu/xjrr

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(336): View more from North Carolina

There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.

(336): View more from North Carolina

This is god's gift to the unemployed.

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(336): There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING. (336): This is god's gift to the unemployed. http://tfl.nu/uhcy

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(612): View more from Minnesota

at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them

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(612): at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them http://tfl.nu/fxji

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(515): View more from Iowa

they need to just BURY HIM!

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(515): they need to just BURY HIM! http://tfl.nu/yy9j

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(757): View more from Virginia

seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with

(703): View more from Virginia

Well said.

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(757): seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with (703): Well said. http://tfl.nu/migv

Replies (19) Good night (3444) Bad night (626)

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