some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You left your underwear on the fireplace