Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle