Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.