Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.