Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
