how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
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I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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