I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless