We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled