i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Send us your Text From Last Night!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...