The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.