he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
