I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow