Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
