She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
