The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
