dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
