What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
