Texts From Last Night · Worst Nights of All Time

Worst Nights of All Time

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.

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(704): Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water. http://tfl.nu/djc8

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(316): View more from Kansas

Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday

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(316): Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday http://tfl.nu/stim

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(310): View more from California

I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.

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(310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there. http://tfl.nu/gafs

Replies (3) Good night (783) Bad night (233)
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(850): View more from Florida

After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.

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(850): After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up. http://tfl.nu/jmm0

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(562): View more from California

I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"

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(562): I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??" http://tfl.nu/7nog

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(207): View more from Maine

my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct

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(207): my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct http://tfl.nu/asi5

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(714): View more from California

You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.

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(714): You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me. http://tfl.nu/l602

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning

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(513): I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning http://tfl.nu/nen4

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(954): View more from Florida

Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.

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(954): Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake. http://tfl.nu/0nfr

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(307): View more from Wyoming

who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some

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(307): who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some http://tfl.nu/7roh

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(707): View more from California

They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield

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(707): They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield http://tfl.nu/3a5d

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(813): View more from Florida

I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.

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(813): I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa. http://tfl.nu/wwaj

Replies (8) Good night (678) Bad night (233)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.

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(608): He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples. http://tfl.nu/0xb3

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(720): View more from Colorado

I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.

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(720): I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry. http://tfl.nu/lrky

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(512): View more from Texas

We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.

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(512): We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents. http://tfl.nu/1dqy

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Worst Nights of All Time

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