The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?