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Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
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