Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
