I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?