I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.