I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
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I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities