The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor