Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...