How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising