I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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