In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
