Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
