No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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