Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
