I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.