He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
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You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
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you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable