WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.