Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
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It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
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I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.