It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.