P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty